Coffee Puns For A Puntastic Conversation

For something as popular and culturally significant as coffee, it’s only natural that we expresso ourselves in coffee puns! Any conversation can get 1000x better with puntastic interludes. True story.

How punny you can go is dependent entirely on your own creativity and the audience (read the room, Bob), but there’s always room for puns. Here are some coffee puns to get into the groove.

Pun-tastic Ideas For Your Coffee Conversation

You’re brew-ti-ful.

Expressing your admiration for someone and declaring your love for coffee in two words? Count me in!

What’s a barista’s favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.

Also, don’t miss leg day.

Don’t Worry, Be Frappé.

Frappes do make everyone happy, so I guess this counts just fine.

Sending you a whole latte love.

An old classic, and smooth just like a latte.

You’re steaming hot!

The pickup line guaranteed (not) to work.

How did the coffee show its love? It said, “Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me!”

What would dad jokes be without forced puns?

Love is in the air… and it smells like coffee.

Okay, it’s not a great pun, but it’s clearly an expression of true love so it gets a pass. I’m fairly certain true love does smell like coffee.

“Thank you for bean a friend!”

That works just fine.

We’re the perfect blend.

*Notes furiously for use on Valentine’s day.*

What’s up, brew?

It might be difficult to get it right, but a good brew is the best bro. Brews before bros!

Funny Coffee Puns

What’s a coffee’s favorite spell? Espresso Patronum!

Totally guaranteed to drive away painful thoughts.

How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.

Dark humor and Henry VIII’s love for decapitating people were just meant to be. 

He’s Just Not That Into Brew

A fun movie pun. And a perfectly reasonable argument to dump that guy.

How is divorce like espresso? It’s bitter and expensive.

Sad. But it reminds me of a fun fact: The Italian government regulates the price of espresso because it’s considered a necessity. How cool is that?

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

The old classic, and still relevant.

What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.


Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it was mugged.

Oh, poor guy.

What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion? I asked for coffee.

Works like a charm.

What coffee is never on time? A choco-late mocha.

We should have known. It’s in the name.

What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? De-calf-inated!

Ba dum tss

Stop Procaffeinating And Just Brew It

You know you want some coffee – just brew it! Everything else can wait for later. Except these coffee puns. They’re golden. A bit of creativity and a love for coffee make these puns great to rely on, Oh, here’s a joke to wrap things up.

“How d’you like your coffee?”
“Handed to me.”